I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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