How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
