thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
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It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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