dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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