were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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