Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
