Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
