with your own penis?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
