Me too!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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