Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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