Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
then he tried to convert me to islam
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
