I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
