Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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