I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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