just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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