i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just google imaged poop.
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SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.