eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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