just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
