sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize