The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
