Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Pants are for mortals
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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