i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
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Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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