I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
