Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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