His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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