the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
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he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.