u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon