She said her name was "party"
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
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dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation