i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.