Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I love you.
Bad choice
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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