My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
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