Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
