I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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