Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
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I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.