A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.