ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....