She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back