Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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