So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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