he puts the penis in happiness.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize