the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
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It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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