This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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