After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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