Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize