if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
In America we eat man semen.
it's like iHOP with fire
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
