we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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