Kiss
Puke
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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