who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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