My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
