doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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