I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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