my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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