I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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