Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
how does that bad decision feel?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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