dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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