I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize