And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
