your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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